I have had this theory, which is not earth-shattering, but it’s been buzzing around like an aimless fly looking for a lovely place to land. Today I found a great spot.

Maslow tells us that we’re needy. We require basic daily sustenance needs (food, sleep, sex, etc.) met first before we can move on to filling voids of friendship, self-worth and many other “non-survival” needs like my fav, creativity. If you review Maslow’s hierarchy, I’m guessing that I’m somewhere in between his “Esteem” and “Self-Actualization” buckets. Reinvention, here I come. Or, mid-life crisis? I really don’t care about the label, it’s the mindshift and behavior that is pulling me towards change.

So, here’s my theory . . . over the past few years I’ve become increasingly annoyed, discouraged and trapped. Everything in this modern world is so easily abundant that it has become painfully empty. If I want a steak dinner, I can have it brought to my house in about 20 minutes. If my favorite pair of shoes look a little worn, I can get another pair in under a day. If I don’t like my house, I can sell it in a few weeks. (Okay, I may not get top dollar but I can still unload it and move on whenever I want). There is very little in my life that is created by me from my own hands. I didn’t kill the cow (for the steak dinner or the shoes) and I didn’t build the house. Easy come, easier to go.

The abundance of just about everything seeming endless. Have you seen your options for gum lately? Who knew there were so many recipes for chewable spearmint. We no longer function in what I call “survival mode” because the fallout from the Industrial Revolution has handed us everything we could ever want on a platter. So, because we are not killing our own chickens and building our own outhouses, we need to replace this time with something. The main replacements are entertainment and buying stuff: stuff we don’t need, stuff we think we need and stuff we’re told we need. The problem with filling our time with things brought in from external creation is that someone else’s heart and soul has framed that creation. Our hierarchical needs of achievement (no matter how small) — respect, creativity, spontaneity, self-esteem and even morality — are being imported from mass produced promises of happiness. Very little originates from within. The result is that our higher levels are not being met and suddenly we’re wandering around aimlessly, like flies looking to land, confused about why we’re unhappy and unsatisfied.

Like I said, this theory is not earth shattering. I’m sure there are tons of philosophers beyond Maslow that have culled this out into a much more scientific and extensive way.

But today, a lot of what I felt was missing from my theory (however small of a theory it is) got a total shot in the ass. Today, I met Patricia Martin. Patricia Martin has been conducting research over the past few years about cultural shifts. She believes we are not just in a state of flux. We are renaissancing. Well, that’s my morphed term, but the basic core idea is that, just like da Vinci and Michelangelo, we are moving cultural needs to the top of the list. The old civilization, as we know it, is dying. In its place is a shift in relevance. We have been disconnecting from the things that make us feel relevant for so long that it is moving us towards an end. An end to complacency, an end to numbness, an end to static civilization as we know it. Patricia has seen that, when you are faced with an end (she actually uses death as a term) and impending trauma, your creativity is heightened. So, from the current state of disconnection comes the scrambling to become connected. In that effort, we create. Our focus shifts from “being” or just existing to creating with the ultimate goal of living in beauty, placing aestheticism as the highest value and gaining pleasure from all things that make us feel relevant.

Our Gen Yers are 80 million strong. Gen Xers (that’s me, at 37, right smack in the middle) are only 48 million and Baby Boomers are still kickin’ around at nearly 75 million. The younger set are driving this renaissance, there’s no doubt. They don’t want to work 9to5. They don’t want a daily grind. But, they do want to have a job that is meaningful and vital to society. They understand Maslov’s top tier hierarchical needs and are hell bent on meeting them and, not just for themselves, but for all of us.

If we are in a cultural renaissance, this affects everything we do in business and marketing. As Patricia argues, how do you market to groups that refuse to be bucketed into segments? One of my group88 members is a cardiac pediatrician who is starting an ecommerce website for physicians in private practice. I have a friend whose passion is racing cars but you’d never know of his talents in the kitchen. There are engineers who are fond of painting water colors. I’m a career gal who is learning to play the drums and last year made my own jam Amish-style. How the heck do you choose to market to these people who have disparate and varying interests? As a culture we are shifting from the goal of “having stuff” to “doing stuff.” Selling to doers is much harder than selling to hoarders.

Patricia has a few ideas on selling in a cultural renaissance but I have yet to read her book so I will refrain from espousing on more theory. One thing that did stick with me in her discussion today, however, is that we need to pay attention to the rebellion of consumers. Don’t label them or put them into buckets. Don’t create segments for them to hopefully fall into or attempt to categorize them in ways that you see fit. They will rebel, become annoyed, and your business will die.

But dying is not a bad thing. Because, as we now know from renaissancing, a little death is required for rebirth.

I don’t mind shameless promos of things I really love. And, I love Meetup. I’ve been using them for about six months now and have been really happy with how they continue to improve the service, the site and the offerings to meet the needs of their users.

Those cats know who they are, how to promote and when to communicate. Today I received an email with this copy that proves to me that they are growing up quite nicely:

Here at Meetup HQ we always want to help people get offline and attending your Meetups. Wouldn’t it be great if everyone realized that when you meet real people face-to-face, amazing things can happen? We think so! So we made a video.

With so many people these days plugged into their cell phones, email, and online social networks, it seems like only an intervention will help get them offline! We all probably know someone like this.

Check out unplugyourfriends.com and send an intervention to anyone you know who may need an “unplugging” of their own!

-The team at Meetup HQ

Watch the video. It’s really well done. And it only takes a few secs to fill out the funny form and send it along to someone you know. With this one little promo, Meetup has:

1) Gotten my attention by tapping into a cultural pain point: we all know someone who could use a breather from updating their status on Facebook or Twitter (okay, that someone is usually me but, whatever!).

2) Created something fun and interactive that is directly in line with their positioning: Meetup is your online answer to connecting with like-minded people in offline ways.

It’s so refreshing when an ecomm company uses common sense marketing to create something clever and effective! Go Meetup, go.

If you ever doubt the power of people, you haven’t been to Philly. This weekend I attended the one-year anniversary bash of Indy Hall in cool “Old City” Philly, PA.

Ever-clever Indy Hall founder and coworking guru Alex Hillman convinced some fine folks to sponsor the food and booze. The drink tickets and apps were endless and no one was shy about digging in. It was a real treat for me to meet some of the folks that I’ve been connecting with online, particularly Alex, Tony “Be Goode” Bacigalupo of New Work City (among other things) and marketing soc-med “it” girl and bleach blond coworking soul sista Tara Hunt. The coworking crew vets have been a tremendous help for me and my partner with group88.

The party was a kicked back good time and it also totally kicked my creativity in the butt about a few projects that are cooking. I’m so jazzed to be a part of the coworking movement, however small my contribution. I’m also really psyched I could meet some killer smarties. We chilled, we laughed, we philosophized, we drank, we ate (who can go wrong with piles of chicken on a stick teepees?) we watched Alex break every glass in the joint, we drew phallic symbols, we gave up the woohoo shoutouts when called for, we snapped shots (some to be flickred, some not), we made bets of which I am sure to win, we got cool free T-shirts and we made plans to kill the corporate world with coworking.

I’m sure I’ll forget someone, and I apologize in advance, but I have to mention a few guys and gals that really made the night for me and have inspired me to get my arse in gear on a few things . . .

Alex: You kill when it comes to getting schnizit done and motivating others. I can’t wait to see what you can do. Just make sure you do it in a plastic cup because glass is just not your bag baby.

Tony: Do us all a favor and stop drawing phallic symbols. I don’t know what biology class you took but that teacher has some explaining to do. I can’t wait to hash out Indie Mentorship with you, Alex and the crew. Interning, schminterning!

Tara: Strength, beauty and vision. I cannot wait for your book release party!

Erica: You are the ultimate image connection girl. In just seconds you gave me tons to think about, and hopefully a great solution to our videoconferencing woes via Oovoo.

Bart: Careful with the Sniffy Sniff. You’re just a little toooo into it.

Jonathan: Your five bucks is in the mail. Dang it!

Mark: Tell your mom I said hi.

Geoff: I am still seriously impressed that you called up “group88″ as soon as I introduced myself. If you ever find yourself back in Stafford looking up your ancestry, give me a shout.

Carlos: Good ideas with the corporate training. We’ll chat soon for sure.

Kevin: At some point we’ll chat about our approaches to brand strategy for our clients. I would really like to be more of a wing it strategist, at least partly, and I’m sure we can swap ideas about adding a bit more structure to your process (or help you get a process if needbe).

Blake: You’re sure to make a name for yourself and Anthillz is a great start.

Rachel: Keep on spreading that energy girl, hot pink hair and all.

There were tons more folks that I’m not mentioning but to all of you at the Indy Hall bash, I just want to say thanks for welcoming me with such open arms. This event has encouraged me to increase my travel budget. Connecting online is great for every day mojo. Connecting face to face is the only way to take my creative mojo up to the next notch.

Seth Godin, once again, takes a pebble of an idea and makes me stop and think about all the boulders coming down the mountain.

In his Destroying Happiness post, he suggests that marketing is about making people unhappy. Because, what happens when people are unhappy? They want to get happy. And that’s when marketers swoop in to make all our dreams come true.

Sounds like a simple concept but it’s a great way to think about marketing. It’s taking the “create a need” mantra to the next level. It’s as if marketers are Horton’s evil twin (if he had an evil twin) or whacky Christof from The Truman Show. We really are puppets on a string.

I replied to Seth’s post with a lot of spouting out about how our society has transformed from survival society to leisure playground. There’s a lot of room for marketers to create desire because we spend a lot of time doing absolutely nothing except think about ourselves, talk about ourselves, think about other people and talk about other people.

There are pockets of savvy that are developing. We’re not all sponges and, I believe, that a lot of old tried-and-true messaging that worked in the ’50s/’60s/’70s and beyond is now invisible to most consumers. Just the other day I was watching some ad for deli meat where they were singing and dancing and I thought, is this really necessary? I don’t want your meat because you’re giving me a song and dance (literally). Just tell me why it tastes good.

I’ll tell you what makes me happy: marketing that does good. Get your product out there and show me that you’re a respectable company. Tell me why I would be associated with you other than the promises of making me look or feel good. Give me substance or give me nothing.

Sometimes I can be a real jerk. Here’s an example:

One night I was overdue on a writing project so I huddled up in my town’s library to crank it out. I was there from 9-8, taking only short runs to DD for some hash browns and coconut decaf with cream and sugar. Nearing the end of the night I was cranky and anxiously trying to get as far as I could in my project (which required reference books too big for me to smuggle out) before the library bitches kicked me to the curb. They’re all sweet and helpful during daylight but as soon as 7:50p hits, you better be making moves towards the door or they’ll make it for you.

So, while sitting at my table in an open part of the library, I received a call from my pal Jimmy. I can’t remember why he was calling but soon we were laughing about something and, while I was trying to keep my voice down (and I thought I was doing a pretty darn good job of it), I suddenly noticed the presence of some guy at a desk nearby working on the library computer. I tried to keep my voice down some more and then told Jim that I better split. Suddenly, the disgrunter couldn’t take it anymore. He whipped around and . . .

Fumer: “You need to take that outside. Right now!”
Me: “Hold on a bit Jimmy.” “Sir, I’m wrapping it up. Just give me a minute.”
His Furiousness: “No. You take it outside. NOW!” He starts to stand up and look around for help. From who, I don’t know.
Me: “Dude, chill it.” “Look Jimmy, I better split or this guy’s gonna blow something. See ya later.” “There, see? All done.”
Angryman turned in his chair, shaking his head, typing away.
Me: “Hey, could you keep it down please. You’re typing awfully loud.”
Mr. Feisty: Whipping around and glaring at me. “You know, your attitude is atrocious!”
Me (laughing): “Atrocious! That’s good! I like that.” I wasn’t lying. I thought it was a great response.

And from that point on the both of us made as much noise as possible: typing, coughing, dropping books, sighing. We threw in as much passive aggressive behavior in the last 20 minutes of library time as we could. When he left, he said, “Good luck with your project” in a half-angry, half-closure kind of way. I just replied a “thanks!” with all the cheeriness I could, as I picked up my phone, dialed my husband and walked away grinning as he huffed and puffed out the door. My only hope was that he didn’t have a dog at home who most surely received the fallout from this exchange. I doubted it though. He looked more like a cat person.

After that incident for the few times that I went to the library, I was always hoping I’d run into that guy. Now I’ve forgotten what he looks like but I always wanted just one more conversation with him. Not to apologize but to thank him. I’m not even sure what for. Aside from the fact that I have a great new phrase to throw around, I think it was just so liberating to not be nice. I’m not saying that I’m gonna be a jerk from now on but if an angst-ridden opportunity presents itself I don’t think I’ll be able help it. Because, at least it’s honest. If I was obliging and took my phone call outside or didn’t instigate him some more, it wouldn’t have been an honest reaction. Now some will argue that I should have been the grown up. That I should have been nice and accommodating. Probably. But, how often does someone tell you that your attitude is atrocious? That just doesn’t happen everyday. Well, at least not yet.

Today I was a contestant in an Elevator Pitch Contest sponsored by CT Showcase and Microsoft.

There were about 25 of us competing. I decided to pitch my other biz, group88, for the contest. All were small biz folk and ranged from my pal Cherie Griffith-Dunne of VLO Group Northeast who is on a mission to bring affordable but sleek houses to the underserved market of young professionals and the winner of the contest, Dori DeCarlo of S1 Bags who produces see-through bags and backpacks that helps make security check-throughs a breeze for travelers and high school kids.

The first contestant was a cookie lady who brought props, a.k.a. cookies! She handed them out to the judges and the entire room. Dang it! I half thought of running into the back room to grab the tray of fruit for my pitch but I couldn’t figure out how to make the connection from cantaloupe to coworking. The cookie lady was pretty good but I have to say she quickly fell into a classic mode of thinking, “well, I’ve 60 seconds so I might as well fill it right to the brim.” Kind of like a big cookie that has chocolate chips, pecans, butterscotch, craisins and dates. The cookie was great until you hit the craisins. And the dates were just not necessary at all.

Some folks were pretty seasoned pitchers. Others had tons of hootzpah and will be great if they keep at it. I was somewhere in the middle. The night before the pitch session, I was meeting with my top client and I had the chance to bounce my pitch off of them. They had some great feedback which I incorporated. Being able to verbalize my pitch outloud the night before was just what I needed to juice up my confidence and tighten up my goods.

Here was my pitch (although somewhat morphed because verbally it was a bit more cas):

“Hi, my name is Suzi Edwards and I’m with group88. group88 is a community of independent professionals on a mission to stay independent. At our facility in Simsbury, we share work and meeting space, office equipment, wifi, coffee and knowledge. Our members are freelancers, ecomm entrepreneurs, laptop loungers and road warriors. Starting at just $18 per day, members can use group88 when they need it: either 1 or 2 days per month or every day. You can find us at www.group88.us or call us at 860.658.4888. Our motto at group88 is, ‘hey, if you can work from anywhere, why not here?”’

Blech. Well, it was okay but I could have done better and this is how:

“Hi, my name is Suzi Edwards and I’m with group88. group88 is a community of independent professionals on a mission to stay independent. At our facility in Simsbury, we share work and meeting space, office equipment, video conferencing, wifi, coffee and knowledge. Our members include a doctor venturing into ecommerce, a marketing consultant, an executive search professional and other mobile workers. Our relaxed but professional environment helps solo professionals break the chains of solitary confinement and save on the costs of working solo. Starting at just $18 per day, members can use group88 when they need it. Some members drop in 2 days per week and others come and go when they need it. You can find us .88 miles from the Avon line on Route 10 in Simsbury. Check us out at www.group88.us or call us at 860.658.4888. Like we always say at group88, ‘If you can work from anywhere, why not here?”’

In listening to the other pitchers, I have to say that I see three top elements to a great pitch:

1) Pain Point: You need to express pain with pleasure. Connect with your audience by presenting the problem, a.k.a. “pain,” and the solution that will take the pain away. My pitch still needs help on this one but I’m getting there. John Stroiney from Microsoft, our host, picked his personal fav as the winner, Dori, because she hit the pain and solution points perfectly.

2) Illustration: Use stories and examples. Any time your audience can visualize how your schnizit rolls, you can take them 5 more steps into understanding what you offer. The third place winner was Princess Bola Adelani of Royal Proclamations. She was the only person to make personal contact with the judges. She walked right up to them, shook their hands and walked down the table to make direct eye contact with each of them. With her passionate words and interaction, she killed the judges and the crowd.

3) Clarity: Say what you mean and do it 30 seconds or less. Don’t say that you “build relationships” (which I did not hear today thankfully) or that you “provide solutions.” Terms like that mean nothing and get you nowhere darn fast.

So, I didn’t win. But, that’s okay. Dori, the gal that did win, totally blew us all to bits and she deserved it. It was definitely worth my time. I made some great connections and learned some good tricks. I might even steal the idea for a group88 event. The cookie lady will be invited for sure.

When I first started going to Web Innovators Group, it had the feel of an underground happy hour of geeks on parade. We were about 200-300 strong. Last night I couldn’t believe my eyes when I opened the door to the hotel’s ballroom in Cambridge and found 800+ people inside! Holy cannoli! This is no longer the little event that could.

Let’s get right to the recap:

The Vibe: Anxious. Very little could be heard during the three main presentations due to chatting and poor audio from the front stage. Most of us spent time looking around the room to see who we wanted to talk to when the demos were over. My biggest feedback for host David Beisel is this: time to switch up the format. A bunch of attendees I chatted with said they’d be just as happy with 10-15 side dishes versus any presentation or demo. I typically ask for a quick demo at the booth anyways to see what I missed in the presentation. More one-on-ones would allow us to have more conversations and give us time to meet with more folks.

The Parade: Curious. My prediction pre-event was that the start-ups would be hyperlocal focused. The hyper part is dead on but hyperlocal is not the only way tech is improving. I typically use “hyperlocal” when I refer to sites like Zeer (one of the features at WIG) or MarksGuide. These sites connect people online to offline activities such as grocery shopping or a business seminar. The value of good hyperlocal is an improved experience — both online and offline.

The brainies at WebInno (and beyond) are building tools and apps that take experience beyond the either/or activity of website or real life. They are giving us platforms to create “hyperactivity,” only not the kind that makes your little cousin Johnny ruin Thanksgiving dinner. Sharing stuff is mixing with selling stuff. Communicating ideas is mixing with experiencing ideas. Building cool tools is mixing with playing cool tools. And if you can’t take it on the road, it’ll get left behind.

For instance, I spent some time chatting with Jeff Cutler from 211me, a text ad mobile mashup site. I asked Jeff how 211me differs from my pal Rob Flynn’s venture Pulse Media (Rob is also a group88 partner). Jeff proceeded to show me a promo for the upcoming flick Eagle Eye where fans can mashup Shia LaBeouf’s head with their own pic and forward it to a radio station promo to enter to win a walk-on role on some other DreamWorks flick. As Jeff would say, “That’s hot, right?” Yes Jeff, it sure is.

Mobile apps and i-ing up is the focus of start-ups these days. Apparently we will all be iPodding eventually, or at least everyone born in the ’80s will have them surgically attached to their texting hand. It’s not enough to be interesting, have a cool interface or provide something that brings users back. If you’re not bringing the activity to users while they’re waiting in line at Six Flags or hanging out drinking beers right now, figure out how. And figure it out fast because tomorrow will be too late.

The Deals: ?. My buddy Matt (a very sharp Rails developer) commented that the climate has changed because the start-up crowd has very few pre-funded folks these days. A lot of the companies are off and running and looking for next wave funding or need to figure out how to bring in the ecomm dollars (the biggest question of the night). I didn’t get to chat with any investors which is too bad because I’d like to know where they stand these days. Considering the packed house, I’d say that the funds are there but my gut tells me that the ideas getting the most notice have business plans beyond ad revenue or social connection models.

There is one prediction that I completely blew. Unlike last time, no one cared that I came “all that way from Connecticut.” Well, okay, two people did. Mostly, people were too busy trying to connect with the best connections, yours truly included.

The ride back was quick as my companion, Robin Towle-Fecso from JumpStart Creative, and I had a lot to chat about. Next week is Tech Cocktail. I’m up for the drive all the way from Connecticut, ludicrous gas prices and all. Bring it on Boston.

Every time I attend WebInno in Boston, I get the same question: “you came here ‘all that way’ from Connecticut?”

Honestly, is an hour and a half really “all that way”? I realize Boston is not exactly in my backyard but the mini-schlepp is definitely worth the trip. I like to think of The Web Innovators Group as the best geekpreneur sock hop on the East Coast. One Tuesday evening per month start-ups and techie guys and gals with ecomm and weberactive ideas court VCs and funders. We sip cocktails, watch demos and chat each other up with our best elevators.

As a writer and marketing message maven, I attend for very selfish reasons. The first is to have cool stuff to write about. The second is to have cool stuff to share with my clients. I could Google all day long to find out what new soc media or ecomm ventures are kicking up but, until you talk with the creators, you can’t really get a sense of how trends are shifting. Not being a techie, what seems new and fresh to me is old hat to a developer. I constantly feel like I’m behind the curve. I hate that. But feeling behind the curve is not all bad because it constantly drives me to learn something new every day.

I’ve met some sharp onliners at WebInno that I’m looking forward to checking in with, particularly Mark Doerschlag with MarksGuide, who just launched sites for NYC, Seattle and more, Kevin Gardner who runs the cool online music collab site Tune Rooms and Chris Keller from Fafarazzi, a fun soc net site that is like fantasy celeb sport meets The Onion. These guys have weathered the storm so far and have proven that they have the right combo of good idea + positioning + audience to pull it off.

Another reason I attend is to share ideas (to anyone who will listen) from the marketing and business perspective. Developers and programmers have a tendency to work within their world and focus on the “it”: what does “it” do, how does “it” look and where will “it” take the next wave of online cool? These are all very important “its.” The one I find missing a lot, however, is this: why are we doing “it”?

Asking why forces you to think beyond the immediate application and ten steps ahead to the possibilities of multiple apps. I sense that geeks and techies are getting wise to this, now that start-ups are transforming from dorm room innovation to dedicated career path.

If I could make one forecast for trends we’ll see on Tuesday night, it is this: hyperlocal. It’s a safe prediction, considering the pretty long list of new tools and apps for people to make online and offline connections for business and hobbies alike.

More importantly than trends, however, I’ll be paying uber close attention to conversations. It’s been a while since I attended a WebInno. Last time I attended I met the spectrum of smarties, from genius kids who were green in the ways of business to sharp-eyed suits who could use a little less business in their business.

Either way, I’ll be counting the times I hear, “You came ‘all that way’ from Connecticut?” So, let’s make another forecast. I predict that I’ll hear that question at least 4.5 times. More or less.

Hope to see you there! To check out the attendee list, go to the Eventbrite site for WebInno.

My pals Sonny and Kara Parlin have launched Sparrow Lounge, a site to showcase their amazing photography. The below pic of yours truly was taken in Hartford by Sonny.

Along with a sharp eye for perspective and in-the-moment portraits, Sonny and Kara are doing some amazing post-processing work. The work showcased on Sparrow Lounge is phenomenal.

Equally as awesome as their work is the lightening speed awareness Sonny and Kara are receiving via flickr. Within one day of posting the “Dreaming of Infinity” pic, Sonny received a two-page list of comments. Some spammers were among them but quite a few were either “love it” comments or “can I post this on my site?” questions. Sonny also joined the CT Meetup for flickr so he could hang with other photophiles.

This is a great example of social media turning the corner. flickr is a soc media granddaddy, for sure, but for many it’s still an online photo album. But, while kids and moms are posting photos for the heck of it, photographers are getting discovered and connections are being made.

If you have been one of those folks wondering what usefulness social media would ever have beyond a water cooler chat, get yourself on flickr. For the mainstream, flickr and other soc media giants are finally beyond the honeymoon stage. One of the biggest reasons for this is volume. With typically 5,000+ uploads per minute, flickr’s flurry of activity is more than just photos and comments. It’s art, laughter, friendship, innovation, intensity, transparency, discovery, and, for some, opportunity.

One thing I’ve gotten really good at is saying no. It’s taken childhood, puberty, those stupid years, the settling down stuff and now my reinvention phase. The first thing to understand about saying no is that it’s not just about you. When your gut tells you not to do a project, it’s taking the high road and thinking of everyone involved. And you thought your gut only had your interests to consider.

Case in point: I was recently contacted by an editor that I’ve worked with on a few how-to books. He wanted me to take on a 5-month project where I would be doing 90 percent of the writing. I know how these projects go. It would consume nearly 70 percent of my week because I would be responsible for the research, writing and then squabbling with my co-author (the expert in the field) about how it should be written. I said yes to the project even though my gut was saying, “no! no! no!”

I began by doing a little research and then drew up an outline that turned out to be all wrong for the book. Right then I knew I had to drop the project. My mind, my time and my heart was elsewhere. Yes, I needed the money but the project didn’t fit into my business goals of:

a) Taking on projects that align with the writer that I want to be
b) Taking on projects that I actually want to do

Luckily, I dropped the book project early enough so my editor could find someone else to fill my shoes. When I called to give him the bad news, he was very cool about it. After I hung up, I felt like I had just been given backstage passes to a private U2 concert. Well, maybe not that good, but pretty darn close.

Here’s how I now say no to something, before I take on a project:

Step 1: Digest. When a project or idea comes your way that you’re unsure about, don’t say anything. I’m not suggesting you mute up, but ask your inquirer as many questions as possible and then tell them that you need to think about it.

Step 2: Assess. When you’re thinking about the project on your own time, assess it within the scope of your other projects, your life and your future. Does this project align with your goals or are you just taking it on for the money or to kill time? If it’s just for the money, personally, I think that’s the toughest call to make. At some point you need to say no to money if you want to build your brand and focus your career. It just has to happen that way. If you’re looking to “kill time,” spend it on marketing yourself not committing to something you’ll regret later.

Step 3: Gut It Out. We all do it. We all ignore our gut instincts. Your gut is there for a reason - don’t deny it’s rightful place in your decision making!

Two weeks after I dropped the book project, two new clients dropped in my lap. Two FANTASTIC clients. Two clients who are a perfect fit for me. Two clients that I would’ve been forced to say no to if I took on the book project.

Don’t fear the power of no. At times, it’s just as good as saying yes.